Your Past Relationships
Don’t Have to Run Your Life
Relational Trauma Counselling & Therapy
Break the Patterns That Painful Relationships Left Behind
Relational trauma therapy can help you understand and work through the lasting effects of painful relationships, whether those experiences happened in childhood, within your family, or with a past partner. Together, we explore the patterns those experiences may have shaped and work toward healthier ways of relating to yourself and others.
What Is Relational Trauma?
The effects can sometimes follow you into adulthood. You might struggle to trust people, feel anxious in close relationships, take on responsibility for everyone around you, or notice similar painful dynamics showing up in different relationships. These patterns often developed as ways of coping or protecting yourself in difficult relationships, even when they no longer serve you in the same way today.
How Relational Trauma Shows Up
You may not call it trauma. Most people don’t. It often looks like:
- Repeating the same relationship patterns, even when you can see them clearly
- Difficulty trusting others, or trusting too quickly and getting hurt
- Anxiety, low self-worth, or a harsh inner critic that never lets up
- Feeling responsible for other people’s emotions while neglecting your own
- Trouble setting boundaries, or guilt when you do
- Feeling disconnected from yourself, your needs, or what you actually want
If any of this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. We work with adults who recognize these patterns in themselves and want to better understand where they come from and begin creating something different.
How We Help
We practice attachment-focused, trauma-informed therapy. This means looking at how important relationships and experiences may have shaped the ways you connect with others, protect yourself, and relate to yourself. Alongside addressing what is happening now, we can explore the patterns underneath it and work toward meaningful, lasting change.
Our work draws from formal training in evidence-informed approaches including Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy, Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. We draw from these approaches based on your needs rather than following a set formula. Sessions move at your pace, and you remain in control of what you choose to explore.
Together, we’ll look at the patterns that have shaped your relationships, strengthen your connection with yourself, and create meaningful change that lines up with what matters most to you.
If You're Struggling, You Are Not Alone
People in Canada are living with a mental health condition
People in Canada experience major depressive disorder
Canadians use health services for mental health or substance use issues every year
Is This You?
You don’t need a diagnosis or a clear story to start. We work with adults who:
- Feel stuck in the same patterns despite being self-aware
- Are exhausted from carrying responsibility for everyone else
- Struggle with boundaries, or feel guilty holding them
- Want closer relationships but keep falling into old dynamics
- Carry wounds from childhood, family, or a past relationship that still affect them today
We also have experience supporting neurodivergent individuals and people affected by substance use, whether directly or through someone they love.
What to Expect
Working through relational trauma doesn’t necessarily mean reliving every detail of the past. Therapy can help you make sense of what you’ve experienced, understand how it may be affecting you now, and explore new ways of relating to yourself and others.
A comfortable place to start: We begin with a free consultation, a relaxed conversation about what’s bringing you in and whether we might be a good fit. There’s no pressure or commitment to continue.
Your pace: We work collaboratively and pay attention to what feels manageable for you. You have a say in the pace and direction of the work.
Warmth and honesty: Sessions feel like talking with someone who truly listens, not a clinical appointment. We bring real skill and real care in equal measure. Sessions are conversational, collaborative and grounded in genuine connection. We bring clinical training together with warmth, curiosity and care.
Beyond insight: Understanding your patterns can be an important part of therapy. We also work toward helping you respond differently to those patterns in your everyday life and relationships.
Trauma Counselling in Abbotsford, Online Across BC
Our Abbotsford office is conveniently located for clients throughout the community, including Clearbrook, Mill Lake, Downtown Abbotsford, Sumas Mountain and Aberdeen. We also welcome clients from across the Fraser Valley, including Mission, Chilliwack and Langley, with virtual counselling available throughout BC. Whichever option fits your life best, the care is the same.
FAQ's
It depends on your goals and your history, some people notice meaningful shifts within a few months, while long-standing patterns can take longer, and we check in regularly so therapy stays focused on what matters to you.
Yes, we see clients in person at our Abbotsford office and online anywhere in British Columbia through secure video sessions.
Many extended health plans cover counselling. Coverage depends on your plan, so check with your provider, and we're happy to talk it through during your free consultation.